So it's been a few...years! What started as simple social media post turned into more. So here I am, and hopefully will be back again very soon.
A friend texted me the other night venting and seeking
encouragement in dealing with big emotions and melt downs with one of her children.
We texted back and forth in solidarity discussing the challenges for quite a
while but one exchange really stuck with me.
Friend: I’ve been saying if you’re
going to have a bad attitude then you can go to your room until you’re ready to
try again. It causes a big meltdown…crying “I can’t breathe…I need a hug” I don’t
know whether to offer grace or be stern because I feel it’s manipulative a
little bit
Me (feeling this deep in my bones):
I’ve been so irritated I’ve had to tell (child) I need my own time out first because
I don’t feel like giving a hug
I’m sure I’m not alone, although as I write these words I’m
thinking what mother says this to her child.
Parenting is HARD!
The next evening I decided to listen to a sermon (recommended
by my sister) as I tidied up and prepped things for the kids for the next day.
Not a few mins in I had to stop. I knew this message needed my full undivided attention
and I most certainly needed my journal and a pen STAT!
With my tasks complete, I sat down at the kitchen table…Bible,
journal, coffee, and pen ready. I put my head phones in and pressed play.
The topic…Parenting! (link below, I encourage everyone to watch/listen)
Let me tell you it’s been a really long time since I have been
so conflicted by a message. I couldn’t keep up with my notes. I had to pause
and rewind (benefit of our modern times).
Key Notes/My Take Away:
“Your behaviors NOT your beliefs are having
the strongest influence on your children”
“In the game of show and tell,
show speaks louder”
“More
things are caught than they are taught”
TRUTH BOMBS! And we haven’t even gotten to the scripture! I
could feel his words tugging at that mommy heart of mine. We all have thoughts
of how we should have, could have, need to be, will be better…next time. And
darn it if we don’t get stuck back in the same old rut time and time again.
Ephesians
6:1 children obey your parents
Ephesians
6:4 [parents] do not exasperate your children…
Exasperate: to irritate and frustrate intensely
to make someone very angry or annoyed
to provoke or rile
to excite anger
The pastor said it and I’m paraphrasing…let’s face it we don’t
always act like the adults in the room!
Parenting – Imperfect people lovingly
and intentionally influencing their children to a perfect GOD! The imperfect
pointing to the perfect!
Ephesians 6:4 …instead bring them
up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
John 13:34-35 A new command I give
you LOVE ONE ANOTHER. As I have loved you so you must love one another. By this
EVERYONE [OUR CHILDREN] will know that you are my disciples if you love one
another.
LOVE! So simple, but yet so hard. Of course we all love our
children. But the pastor goes on to explain the “Jesus Brand of Love!”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 LOVE is
patient , kind, envy, boast, proud, dishonor, self-seeking,
easily angered, keeps no record of wrong, delight in evil,
rejoices with truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
JESUS BRAND LOVE!
The messaged continues with lots of great information and 3
points for parenting through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and again I encourage
everyone to listen.
But my big take away…Always give the hug! Jesus would give
the hug! No time out needed!
I immediately sent the link to my girlfriend saying “this is
the answer to everything we talked about last night.” A few hours later she
responded “Holy conviction batman!”
We are gifted these precious blessings and tasked with raising
them up. Being a mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, probably the
greatest thing too. But it’s also the thing I’ve probably failed at the most.
The day after listening to this message, I was hit with the reality of just how
much I fail on a daily basis. To love someone with so much of your being it
hurts. Yet failing to FULLY love them. Loving as Christ loves us. Gosh, if I don’t
need to continue to pray for help with that every second of every day.
Today, one of 2 days a week with kids actually in school, I
was running errands. And a song came on the radio.
Do you ever hear a song a thousand times, even sing along but
then one day the lyrics hit you full force? That song for me was Known by
Tauren Wells.
It's so unusual, it's
frightening
You see right through the mess inside me
And you call me out to pull me in
You tell me I can start again
And I don't need to keep on hiding
I'm fully known and loved by You
You won't let go, no matter what I do
And it's not one or the other
It's hard truth and ridiculous grace
To be known, fully known, and loved by
You
I'm fully known and loved by You
It's so like You to keep pursuing
It's so like me to go astray
Oh, but You guard my heart with Your
truth
The kind of love that's bullet proof
And I surrender to Your kindness, oh
I'm fully
known and loved by You
You won't let go, no matter what I do
And it's not one or the other
It's hard truth and ridiculous grace
To be known fully known and loved by You
I'm fully known and loved by You
How real, how wide
How rich, how high is Your heart
I cannot find the reasons why
You give me so much
How real, how wide
How rich, how high is Your heart
I cannot find the reasons why
You give me so much
I'm fully
known and loved by You
You won't let go, no matter what I do
And it's not one or the other
It's hard truth and ridiculous grace
To be known fully known and loved by You
I'm fully known and loved by You
It's so unusual it's frightening
I'm fully known and loved by You
Hard truth and ridiculous grace! Fully known and loved by
Him! What an overwhelming love!
Life is hard. Parenting is hard. Loving is hard.
From one mommy heart to another, just breathe, say a prayer (again) and remember…always give the hug! Then take the time out.
Messages begins at 19:51
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